Loving God's Way

Our church is in the middle of a 6 week study about the relationship principles of Jesus, 40 Days of Love. Our preacher's sermon covers different topics about how Jesus would have us treat each other in our relationships. There are weekly group discussions outside of the sermon, a study guide and even the youth are following the program. I'll admit that Alan and I have not thrown ourselves into this study with a lot of enthusiasm. Of course we have our list of excuses - Alden and I have been sick, we've been out of town and basically it's just really hard to sqeeze in one more activity during the week.

I was very excited last weekend when we were all feeling well, in town and made it to Sunday school and church. I was eager to hear the sermon and get back in the swing of things. This weeks lesson was facing the challenge of loving ALL of God's children. Not just our family and friends. Not just nice people. Not just people like us. Not even the millions of nameless, faceless people that we will never interact with yet we know they are God's children and that we are called to love them. Loving God's children includes everyone. The preacher focused on the task of loving those that are rude, demanding and selfish. He pointed out that our human nature is to retaliate with whatever is thrown at us, but that Christ calls us to respond with love and patience.

I have to tell you that I sort of pride myself on my "customer service" skills. I feel I have a lot of patience in dealing with difficult people. I always try to give people the benefit of the doubt and allow everyone a bad day. I have learned that responding with kindness can turn a conversation around in a second. I have received many phone calls from upset employees who were "looking for a fight" and by the time I hang up with them they are thanking me greatly for all of my help. So, it was pretty easy for me to sit smugly in my pew and pat myself on the back for a job well done.

And then that little voice known as the Holy Spirit asks me, "Mendy, are you certain there is no room for improvement?" How often do I have to deal with rude, demanding and selfish people? Oh, I deal with them on a very regular basis, but not in the way I originally thought. Who are consistenly the most demanding and selfish people I interact with? And then it hits me like a ton of bricks . . . my children. Oh, how the shame engulfed me. My children are precious angels, my life, the center of my world, but they are by nature selfish and certainly demanding.

Alden's needs are simple at this age. Clean diapers, good food, warm clothes and lots of hugs and kisses. Sure, he pitches his fits, but that's to be expected at his age. Emma Kate is different. She is 5. I know in my head that on her next birthday she will be 6, but sometimes I'm certain her teen years are right around the corner. She is smart, so smart. She is a little tall for her age and she has been speaking perfectly since she uttered her first word. So, I think I set the bar a little high for her sometimes. I certainly don't allow her many bad days. Sometimes as I'm drifting off to sleep I wonder if I encouraged her enough or did I only point out her mistakes? When she melted down about having to take a bath did I speak to her kindly and with patience? Too many times the answer is no.

What is my excuse for this? A long day? Everyday is long. Too much to do? The routine doesn't change that much so why am I continually stressed about all that has to be done? It always has to be done so I should just put on my big girl panties and deal with it. Is there ever an excuse for not giving my little girl my kindness and patience? Not a good one.

Clearly, I need to step it up. God calls us to love everyone and love her I do, but loving her God's way is the key. No doubt I will fall on my face again and again when I'm dealing with my children. God is perfect. I am not. But when I fall on my face I will turn my head to Jesus and beg for a little bit of his strength to help me do better the next time.

"Love is patient, love is kind and is not jealous; love does not brag and is not arrogant." 1 Corinthians 13:4